#29 Why We Don’t Leave Jobs We Hate

Ever notice how people complain endlessly about their jobs—yet don’t actually leave? That’s the heart of Amina Aitsi-Selmi’s The Success Trap.

The trap works like this:
We chase the markers of “success” that others hand us (promotions, pay bumps, titles), and before we know it, we’ve built a career we’re not actually happy in. Worse, we can’t walk away because of:

• Identity lock-in – You’ve told the world you’re a lawyer, consultant, or manager, and the thought of “becoming a beginner” again feels terrifying.

• Golden handcuffs – The salary is comfortable, the perks are nice… even if the work drains you.

• Fear of the unknown – Quitting means uncertainty, and our brains prefer a miserable known to a risky unknown.

• Social approval – Friends and family validate “success” by the job title, not by how fulfilled you are.

• Busyness as a shield – Work fills every hour, leaving no time to even imagine alternatives.

So people stay. Not because they love it, but because leaving feels impossible.

Aitsi-Selmi’s big advice? Experiment with identity. Don’t quit cold turkey—start small: take on side projects, shadow someone in a different field, or test-drive a role that sparks curiosity. Tiny experiments weaken the trap and build courage.

It’s less about making one big leap, and more about stringing together lots of little ones until suddenly you’re standing somewhere new.

👉 A question to get your juices flowing: If you weren’t tied to your current role, what would you try just for the joy of it?

PS: Feel free to hit reply and share your current challenges at work.